Everyone has on-going unanswered questions or concerns about stuff, right?
I've had a little list piling up in my brain for several months. Sometimes, when my brain is on overdrive and I can't shut it off to go to sleep at night (for no apparent reason...other than that bowl of ice cream that I ate that could be giving me a sugar high) I think about STUFF. Like:
How am I going to get Mikayla to try new foods and learn how to EAT and get out of the 1st %tile for her weight?
Will I EVER find a reputable, fair-priced,
licenced, polite, quality contractor to finish our basement that has now been in the works for a year and a half? ( I must've gone through 7 contractors now, researching them, getting quotes, negotiating, etc.)
Who should teach ______ primary class? How long till _______ is going to be called as a teacher? etc. etc. (I am in charge of the teachers for Primary and lately it has been very high-maintenance)
What should I do with this mop on my head known as hair?
How in the world am I going to stay on top of all the housework? (I swear, it gets messier faster when your living space is only 1000 square feet) And HOW did all those crumbs appear on the floor? Didn't I just sweep?
Note: My kitchen floor is much messier now that my 8 month old will enthusiastically try to stuff any table food in her mouth - a sharp contrast from her older sis, who as a baby refused anything that wasn't smooth - so I usually happily sweep up the mess. Usually.
I admit, these concerns are pretty lightweight compared to lots of peoples' lives. It just wears on me when I don't find solutions, month after month. And after lots of prayers and brainstorming.
Well, recently I've been excited and relieved because I am finally getting some ANSWERS! I am learning I just gotta be patient. Have faith. Keep working at it. And s-l-o-w-l-y, ever so slowly, solutions are coming.
And I have to keep a good perspective. I've accepted the reality that the house probably won't be as neat or as clean as I like it as long as I have kids in the house. I know that my job with finding primary subs is going to be continuous (until they release me or I move out of the ward).
And, maybe I'll just be the lady who wears a ponytail all the time because she can't style her hair worth beans. Maybe I'll be 75 with a ponytail. (Hmmm....actually don't ladies that age go to the hair salon once a week and get it 'done' and then just wear a shower cap and never have to do it? That sounds good to me....)
On a more serious note, I know that Heavenly Father is listening to me. I should probably pray more than I do. But when I do have a heartfelt talk with him, He listens. And I think sometimes He must chuckle at my concerns, but I know that He cares, because it matters to ME.
We went to California a few weeks ago. We go every year for the Cramer family beach party. And whadayaknow, the day before we were supposed to leave, Mikayla starts acting grumpy and whines about how she's gonna throw up. I knew by the way she was acting that she had come down with something, but she is rather dramatic when it comes to illness so I thought it might just be a quick little bug that's been going around our neighborhood.
So we decided to go anyway. I was kind of anxious about it (I could just picture us driving along in the barf-covered car with two screaming kids). WEll, the drive there went okay, other than the fact that Mikayla refused to eat anything and only accepted drinks. But on Friday night, the night before beach day, she had - we ALL had - an awful night. She was thrashing about in her sleep, waking up, crawling along the floor crying, refusing to be put back in her little bed or our bed, etc. Note:Somewhere in there I figured out that what she meant by 'I need to throw up' was 'I have a sore throat' - she just didn't know the right phrase.
Anyway, Kraig and I spent a lot of time awake that night. And, we later admitted to each other, a lot of time praying. We just wanted to have a nice time at the beach with all the family. We'd come far for just a short trip. We don't see the Cramer side much, and they're so welcoming and fun. We wanted Mikayla to feel better and have a good time with her cousins.
In the morning we let her sleep in. She slept till about 10:30. I was still expecting her to be a grouch since she didn't even get her full amount of sleep and then not feeling well to boot. But, miraculously, she woke up, happy, pleasant, bright. She ate food! She started running around the house with her cousins! And we ended up having a fabulous time at the beach. Mikayla was completely content the entire day, even late into the night. In our mind, that was a miracle and an answer to our prayers. And the stormy weather cleared up and the sun came out. That was a pleasant surprise too.
I guess what I'm saying is, sometimes answers to our prayers come the next day. And sometimes they come after months, or even YEARS.
But they come. :)